Talking about ‘sex addiction’ in certain Asian cities is like talking about alcoholism during the ‘Oktoberfest’ in Munich: a firework of dirty jokes and winking confessions (‘yes, I’m an addict, too!’) are standard elements of these conversations. However, few people seem to know what sex addiction really is or means.

Sexual addiction (sometimes also called sexual dependency or sexual compulsivity) means that a person is unable to manage her sexual behavior, which is described as ‘compulsive’ in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) of the American Psychiatric Association. It is thus often also referred as ‘hypersexuality’ in many papers. Excessive sexual drive can cause distress or serious problems not only for the affected persons but also to persons associated with them. Usually they invest a lot of time and money to satisfy their obsession with various activities related to sex, and may risk losing their jobs, ruining their relationships, interfering with their social life, and putting themselves at risk for emotional and physical injury. While for many, their behavior won’t progress beyond compulsive masturbation or the extensive use of pornography or paid sex services, for others, the addiction can involve illegal activities such as exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone calls, sexual harassment or abuse and especially here in Asia, violating various Asian laws like filming sexual activities or organizing sex parties. Many sex addicts spend high percentages of their money due to their lowered sexual inhibitions – basically, most of their money-making and thinking ultimately turns around satisfying their sex drive. However, sex addicts hardly gain lasting satisfaction from their sexual activities and rarely form emotional bonds with their sex partners. To many, it feels like constant hunting – without ever achieving the satisfaction of feeling full.

Unfortunately, it is also typical for sex addicts to engage in distorted thinking – justifying and rationalizing their behavior and blaming others for the problems that arise as a result of their actions. As long as possible, they will deny they have a problem and find excuses for their behavior. Thus, it usually takes a significant event like the loss of their job, the break-up of their marriage, an arrest or a health crisis, to force the addict to admit that there is indeed a problem.

While professionals are still struggling with the exact definition and diagnosis of hypersexuality / sex addiction, there is no doubt that this disorder exists. Hypersexuality is also a criterion symptom of mania in bipolar disorders and schizoaffective disorders and often linked to depression or other forms of addiction, like alcoholism or drug abuse. Treatment of sexual addiction focuses on controlling the addictive behavior and helping the person develop a healthy sexuality.

(This short article is part of a weekly series dealing with psychological expat problems and general mental health issues and was published in various newspapers and magazines in Thailand, 2010)