In history, the concept of sexual ‘normality’ almost continuously subjected to ethical considerations, and until today, the distinction between normality and perversion (paraphilia) is still difficult. As we can see comparing different countries in the world, cultural differences and legal systems are also influencing these artificial boundaries.

Today’s diagnostic taxonomies define various fetishes, but as also masochistic and sadistic sexual role-playing as deviances. But then, according to statistics, about 50 percent of all European men would have to be classified as having sexual disorders, preferring ‘atypical’ patterns of stimuli and triggers for sexual arousal – that way, a definition of ‘normality’ would of course be somewhat questionable and artificial. As a consequence, newer versions of the diagnostic manuals will distinguish better between pathological sexual disorders harming others (eg, acting on sexual urges with nonconsenting persons), and harmless, playful sexual deviations.

But the freedom to live as good as any sexual orientation does not automatically ensure happiness – neither of the person herself or a partner. If satisfactory sexuality can only be achieved under very limited conditions, if it conflicts with the law or if it burdens the relationship or ourselves at times, it is almost always proved to seek professional sexual advice.

(This short article is part of a weekly series dealing with psychological expat problems and general mental health issues and was published in various newspapers and magazines in Thailand, 2010)