‘Mike? I haven’t seen him for quite some time now!’

When the initial euphoria about life abroad has settled, cultural quirks, disillusionment and language barriers, coupled with a lack of a support system can create a sense of loneliness for expats. Even those who coped quite well with the challenges of transition, start to miss a close and sufficiently large circle of friends after a while. Many may have loose leisure or sports partners, but no one they would call a really good, intimate friend. So even life in Thailand can start to feel depressing after a while – out of recurring feelings of loneliness.

Younger people usually deal with this challenge more easily – it is usually easier for them to integrate into new environments, to learn the new language and to make contacts with local people. Older people, however, often develop a desire to retire from public life. Over the years, many of them even tend to reduce their contacts to the people they once enjoyed hanging out with, only leaving their apartments to buy goods or to (quietly) attend the weekly expat meetings. Eventually, even that may feel to exhausting. So it is that we have to read in our newspaper that people died isolated and lonely – whether from illness or even by their own hands. In my view, that’s the worst end of life, considering the dreams they once had in mind when deciding to move to popular retirement countries like Thailand, Gran Canaria or New Zealand.

When confronted with loneliness, feelings of depression or anxiety: stay active, keep meeting your friends and maintain your hobbies! But also keep an eye on your friends and acquaintances: how are they actually doing right now?

(This short article is part of a weekly series dealing with psychological expat problems and general mental health issues and was published in various newspapers and magazines in Thailand, 2010)