Hope someone reads every intricate detail and replies..

[Vindaloo]

Bit confused right now, need new eyes people:

On the self-psychopathic test I just got:

93.75 fucking percent on factor 1
61.11 % on factor 2
and a generous...100.00% on other relevant traits.

What the fuck is going on here? What does this mean?

I did this test a while back when I was 16 it said I had histrionics and now it tells at 17 I have narcissism and histrionics. Man, I didn't even know there was a correlation possible.

But, the thing that bothers me the most is that I just did a self-psychopathy scale...probably something along the lines of the Levenson Self-Report Scale - but anyway it said I had 48/64 for primary psychopathy...then 33/40 for secondary psychopathy. So it said I scored high on both so which one am I? (I would have guessed secondary as the percentage is 83% compare to 75%)

However, this test contradicts all that information just given because this test indicates that I'm much more heavily a primary psychopath, I mean 93.75% fucking percent again....that's awe-inspiring if anything.

I just need a bit of direction here. I need to define what I am. Maybe telling you I'm an ENTJ on Myers-Briggs would help? Haven't got a fucking clue.

I mean I would say I feel slight emotions like guilt - not so sure about remorse though (not sure it's the same thing). I would say I have a slight understanding for cause and consequence, but my impulsiveness and anger can surpass that. And my fearlessness is not entire but it is extremely limited. I mean I can get shocked when caught by surprise, but when something is there in front of me I cannot remember the last time I hesitated - even in very dangerous situations, refusing to back down in fights. So, I'm writing this really fast so I apologize for the messy approach. (I would usually right a lot more structured and review my text before posting.) There are clearly traits of secondary and primary psychopathy. But while impulsiveness is one of my dominating traits, so is manipulation and superficial charm. I would name them as my top three with fearlessness and maybe a slight sense of guilt for a death of a family member as passive traits...this obviously being a basic generalization of some of psychopathic characteristics I mostly obtain.

By the way what are the other relevant traits?...100% is quite an eye opener.

I scored high on an emotional intelligence test, and while I feel I am extremely good at reading others emotions - I fucking suck at understanding, expressing, feeling..or anything on my own. When I have a conversation with most people I rarely think about the words, I literally think about the person them self and how I am able to use them potentially. Especially with women I am constantly defining how they feel towards me and how I can enhance my reputation towards them, having complete disregard for the conversation at hand. There is an exception however. Taboo topics about religion or other deep conversational topics within life do give me satisfaction and I will genuinely focus and passionately express my views with anyone. The only person I feel I can talk to normally is my best friend I have known over 6 years and even though I have known other people for much longer...they have gotten to know me much better than any other person and I no longer think about the surroundings or how I act...everything just flows.

I am not an arrogant ass. I would say I am supremely confident, but if I was arrogant I wouldn't get so pissed at Cristiano Ronaldo's face. I am an extremely bold character with my own sense of morals and laws that perhaps nearly the whole world disagree on - yet I can't help but still feel right with what I'm saying. I understand this may be a contradiction to arrogance, but if its any consolation I do believe in God. And it's Him that's the only reason my feet still remain on the ground, I humble before Him, but I continue to let Him down, I even broke promises to God and I continue to lie and become void of my responsibilities. My relationship with God is extremely unique and hard for me to understand or conceive as He is the only being or non-being, or however you want to define the undefinable , that I care about disapproval from.

I believe that my mental beliefs are a result of genetic and environmental conditions. I was always an angry kid, but then my father wasn't the greatest either and I did receive the wrong end of it sometimes as a kid. Not that it mattered as I don't feel punishments were very punishing.

I've tried to fit a lot in here because I am desperate for some feedback. Help would be greatly appreciated as my abilities for self-reflection are not convincing enough for me to listen to myself.

Thanks.

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