Finding it hard to move on.

[lperrin]

Hi there,
When I was 17 which is 7 years ago now, I was with a guy who would rape me and demand sex at least twice a day, being niave and thinking I was in love I thought this was normal even though it did not feel right and I would have bruises on my thighs and wrists after where he had held me down.
I was only with him a month before finding out he was sleeping with my best friend and then a week later I found out I was pregnant which under the circumstances I thought all would be fine and I would love to have a baby because of how maternal I am. My mum told me not to tell the guy I was with that I was pregnant but I did anyway and then the threats started on me and my family and the baby, I had a scan at 6 weeks due to pain in lower abdomen and saw my little baby and its heart beat but I was being pushed into having an abortion from my mum and the dad of the baby so at 8 weeks I went and had it done surgically. I got really ill a month after the abortion and ended up in hospital with my SATS going up and down, I don't remember much from it but I was rushed into surgery where they found remaining bits from the abortion left in me that had started giving me sepsis. So along with all of this happening my great nan died and my mum ended up in a mental health hospital because she got so down from all of this stuff going on.
Basically I am still struggling to cope because its coming up to the anniversary of all of this happening and I feel so much guilt because of my mum going into hospital from it all. I feel like I have to be the strong one in the family even though I am breaking inside and yesterday at work I made a little mistake and ended up breaking down and spilling everything to my manager who suggested coming on here whilst I am waiting to get face to face counselling.

Sorry it is such a long messege x

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[Roseberry]

Those are very traumatic events. No wonder you require time to cope with them. I hope you're doing better now.