Counseling & Psychotherapy Discussion Board

You'd think I'd recognize a bully by now but on a date when all I wanted was for this relationship to get off the ground this man I knew for five years threw a fit and punished me by cancelling the evening. He was showing me pictures of his rodeo weekend and how enormous his beard had grown at that time when I saw a gap in his eyebrow and touched it as a small caress. We were at the parking lot of where we would have dinner when upruptly he started up the truck and drove me home-all the way telling me "I told you I was delicate and I don't just eat anywhere."

My experience resembling this situation was after fifteen years of making dinner his way my ex-husband stomps off telling me the food had no salt or pepper and he was not gona eat this crap anymore. We spent the next four years in divorce court dividingour properties, one child, and one dog

I could not respond at the time for the latest incident. It took me weeks to dicipher by myself what went wrong. He has not answered his phone to explain himself and I didn't know at the time what point to argue. He just dropped me off and I haven't heard from him since. He knows how to whoo because thats what he did on our first two dates yet here I am without him even to argue the point.

Welcome arrow!

That's a strange analogy to your husband! Do you think you touching him could be the reason that he drove away?
I don't think in both cases that the food has anything to do with that...
In which situations did your husband "dislike" the food?

This man isn't yet your friend?
I think it would be fine to speak with him about that, and find out, if he too wants to get the relationship off the ground or if it is too quick/ too much for him?

I hope it exposes as misunderstanding and not as a man who has no contact to his feelings...
Greetings, struggle

Hello arrow!

I, too, want to welcome you in the forum! It's nice to have some more people here!

Do you have problems like this with men more often? I would just guess that he is maybe a bit strange. If I was in your situation I would send him to hell and better search for an amiable and polite man. I mean, if he already show a strange behaviour in the third date how will he be like if you are in a relationship with him?

You wrote that you already know him since five years. Has he always behaved like that? Are you even sure if he is interested in a relationship with you? Maybe he sent you some signs first because he thought that he might be in love with you but now he changed his mind? I think it's always hard to start a relationship out of a friendship or at least an acquaintance if both knew each other for quite a long time.

Nice greetings,

Short Circuit

This is for Struggle and Short Circuit-Thanks fo the input. I think I know the answer already; but, it still helps to sort it out since I fell head over heels for that person when during a rainy nite he picked me and carried me over the puddle. I was describing that went on for the last five years. It had been two years since we went out for the first dates and this last time. This relationship took a lot of energy and contemplation.The reference to the salt & pepper episode was the last meal I had with my ex-husband; by then, he had a girlfriend and had long lost love for me.

arrow wrote:This relationship took a lot of energy and contemplation.

That´s what I think all the time. The game is not worth the candle in those cases.

Bullies are driven by low self esteem. If you remember this and approach the entire thing as a psychological mind game, it may give you the upper hand. The problem lies wherein children are confronted by bullies, the concept is too mature for them to understand and they take it all personally.